Cycle Down
by Shadow of Arashi
Summary: Because you love him that much and no matter what you just want him to be happy. Even if it means letting him go. In the end it’s all about what he wants.' A talk between a bartender and a Turk has unexpected consequences. Angst,  het and yaoi pairings.


**Title**: Cycle Down  
**Author**: Shadow Arashi  
**Fandom**: Final Fantasy VII  
**Pairing**: one sided Rude/Reno, one sided Cloud/Tifa and Tifa/Reno friendship  
**Rating**: PG-13 for a few swear words  
**Word Count**: 1981  
**Warnings**: Nothing except angst and un-required love. I was trying something a bit different here and was writing in the present tense instead of the past like I usually do for a part of the fic, so if you find grammatical mistakes such as switching between past and present please tell me (it's not like English is my first language anyway. And I still can't decide if I'm pleased with this fic or not. The whole dialogue scene just seems… weird. I can't tell if it makes sense to anyone else but me.)  
**Disclaimer**: I don't own FFVII nor do I own any of its characters (if I was I wouldn't be writing fanfics now would I?).

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She was feeling warm and comfortable, like a kitten nestled safely against its mother. Moaning a bit she buried herself deeper into the soft cotton sheets, not wanting to wake up and instinctively wrapping her arms against the body laying next to her.

Her bed mate sighed and moved then, causing Tifa's brain to kick in and throw her fully into the world of consciousness.

Slowly, almost against her will, she forced her eyes opened.

The first thing she noticed was the long red hair. The second was the dried tears on her face.

Tifa blinked twice before running a hand over her face and gently pushing herself into a sitting position, absently removing a few strands of black hair from her face as she gazed down at the sleeping man next to hair. He looked peaceful despite the matching dried tears on that far too pretty face for a man; almost innocent all curled up as he was onto himself like a child, his face relaxed and without a hint of his usual smirk.

She couldn't help but smile at that thought. Reno was anything but innocent. Yet that knowledge did nothing to break the illusion as she watched him react the same way she did earlier by hiding under the sheets.

On a whim she ran a hand through that unbelievable red hair, giggling a bit when a closer look at the roots showed it was his natural color. She had been ready to bet it was dyed. Though it quickly became the last thing on her mind as she watched him sleep.

-----

_She slammed the half empty bottle onto the small table with a snarl, pissed and depressed and unable - or unwilling, not that Tifa would admit it to herself - to shake her dark emotions off which in turn made her even more pissed and depressed. The loud music downstairs didn't help either. Something was going to finally fall or break soon if they didn't stop that racket._

_Tifa took a deep breath._

_The young woman was mad at herself, mad at Cloud for being so dense and mad at the world as a whole. So mad actually that she did something she never thought she would do. She started drinking to forget._

_She had tried everything. She really did and for a while it had seemed like she had made some progress with the quiet ex SOLDIER; only to have it all come crashing down on her. Cloud was still chasing after a ghost and isolating himself from everyone, from _her

_In the end she was back to square one and she was becoming sick of it. A picture fell down. Tifa cursed._

_"Hey, why the long face? Did Strife run off again or something?"_

_She dropped her head with a groan._

_"What are you doing here Reno? And haven't you heard of knocking?"_

_In others circumstances the Turk's presence wouldn't have bother her but right now all she wanted was to be alone. She just wanted to drown in her misery and the redhead was stopping her from doing just that, in her own room no less._

_Reno didn't seem to care at all, stepping into the room nonchalantly instead before carelessly throwing his lanky body onto her bed; hands crossed behind his head and apparently finding the ceiling fascinating.  
_  
_"Just checking up on ya'.__ I saw you disappear earlier, it just didn't seem like something good ol' Tifa would do."_

_Tifa wearily looked up, ready to fire a sarcastic comment when Reno beat her to it._

_"If he's hurting you that much he's not worth it ya' know."_

_A strangled gasp escaped her, her words dying in her throat at the soft spoken voice. She looked at him then, really looked at him, only then noticing the strain and weariness etched onto his face. She had seen it often enough in her mirror lately to recognize the marks, but never on Reno. Never on the happy go lucky Turk. Still anger, hot and burning, flared inside her without control or reason._

_"What do you know anyway?!"_

_Reno threw her an almost sympathetic glance, ignoring her when she jumped to her feet menacingly._

_"More than enough Tifa. He left again didn't he? Nobody saw him in a few days and he wasn't there today for your little party. He left and you just don't know what to do anymore to make him realise what he's missing. That's why you are drinking yourself to oblivion right?"_

_"It's not like that! Could isn't-"_

_"Isn't what sweetheart? Isn't hurting you? Isn't ignoring you? Isn't taking the coward way out?"_

_Anger pummelled down to shocked silence._

_"You love him."_

_"Huh?"_

_Confusion replaced anger.  
_  
_"Cloud.__ You love him. That's why you forgive him every single time, why you're still hoping. But he's still chasing after the memory of his flower girl."_

_"Her name is Aerith."_

_Sharp, cutting. A warning. Tension rising again as quickly as it dropped._

_"Aerith. Riiiiight. My apologies."_

_Mocking, teasing maybe?_

_"It's none of your business Reno. You have no place to jud-"_

_"So you don't care that he still doesn't give you the time of the day and keeps running off despite everything you did for him?" It sounds so harsh the way he says it… Then softer "You should take your own advice and move on."_

_"… I can't."_

_The quiet admission is all it takes before she falls back down on her chair, defeated. Reno merely looked away and curled himself into a ball on the bed._

_An uncomfortable silence stretched between them. Tifa can't help but wonder how the conversation shifted so dramatically when Reno broke the silence again._

_"Because you love him that much and no matter what you just want him to be happy. Even if it means letting him go. Even if it means seeing him with someone else... In the end it's all about what he wants."_

_"I- yes."_

_Because it's the truth isn't it?_

_Reno's laughter - _it's such a pleasant sound or at least it would be if it wasn't being chocked by ohmygodsomuchpain_ - is so unexpected that she just gapes at him like a fish out of water for a full minute while he uncurl and stretches like a cat, finally locking gazes with her._

_"So that's it? You just give up and cry yourself to sleep? You will let him go but you won't move on? Aren't we pathetic now? Look at us, man love ain't all it's cracked up to be."_

_Tifa has to beat down the sharp pain his words initially brought before she realises that there is more to this surreal conversation than her relationship - _or lack there of_ - with Cloud.  
_  
_"Why are you telling me this Reno? Why do you care? If anything I thought you would rub it in, not help my poor little self to move on. And since when are _you_ such an expert on love?!"_

_Reno stayed oddly quiet at this and Tifa knows her suspicion is correct. So she lays it on even thicker this time.  
_  
_"Tell me, I know you must have a reason to get involved in this drama. It's just not your way to do anything for free."_

_He laughed again and it's still as disturbing as the first time._

_"Aren't you clever. Fine you wanna know why I'm here trying to help you get over that stupid jerk? Because I want some fucking closure damnit!"_

_His eyes are hard and challenging in the dim-lit room but she holds her ground despite her shock at his first show of anger of the evening. Soon his expression falls though and she could have sworn it was a flash of pain and understanding she saw in those mako colored eyes, as if he knew that his next words could very well destroy her. Or himself._

_"Why would you need closure Reno?"_

_He pointedly ignores her, not looking her in the eyes._

_"You love Cloud. Cloud loves Aerith."_

_Reno has to pause there; can't help the chocking in his throat and visibly struggles to force the rest of the words out - ended up with his arms around his knees like a child in the process - and she suddenly wants him to shut up before it's too late- "And Rude loves you."_

_This time her mouth falls open in shock, yet it's nothing compared to what Reno said next._

_"And I love Rude."_

_Tifa stared and Reno stared back. Look like after such a long talk they both are out of words._

_"Oh." She whispered._

_Or maybe not._

_Reno smiles and it's empty and self mocking and it's making her want to hug him. She blames the alcohol._

_"I… I guess we are the same then."_

_"Yeah. Ain't it sad?"_

_Tifa smiles sadly back at him._

_"So you came here because-"_

_"-I wanted you to forget Hero boy for a second and see that someone else was waiting for you."_

_"Rude."_

_"Yeah, Rude."_

_"But what about-"_

_"Me? I ain't got a snowball chance in Hell Tifa and I accepted that a long time ago. And since I'm such a moron I thought 'what the hell I should just hook them up and be done with it', ya' know? Then I could move on too."_

_It's all so clear now that she wants to bang her head against the wall. Rude's constant presence at her bar and Reno's too… What an eye opener._

_"I'm sorry."_

_She said suddenly and Reno shrugged it off._

_"Don't be."_

_"But- that's not like you. When did _you_ give up?"_

_That pathetic smile is back on his face and she knows he really had dropped out of the fight. Somehow it doesn't settle well with her at all and that urge to hug him comes back with a vengeance. She listens to it this time._

_They ended up in a tangle mess of limbs on the bed, Tifa on top of the scrawny redhead and holding on tightly to a confused Reno, burying her face in his neck in a moment of need._

_"What the hell Tifa?!"_

_"Shut up Reno. I know you aren't a quitter so stop hurting yourself!"_

_She felt his thin body tensing against her, felt the sharp intake of breath against her neck but she didn't let go. For the first time in a long while she doesn't feel so alone. She even believes she can almost see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel._

_"Let's work together."_

_"What?"_

_"I help you with Rude and you help me with Cloud, how about it? After tonight I want to make this work even more. For both of us."_

_Reno shook his head in disbelief and she felt him laugh before she heard it. This time it's a light pleasing sound just as it should be and she can't help but smile._

_"You're mad."_

_He whispered and let his arms return the embrace tentatively. She can tell he still doesn't believe, but she has hope now and won't let it go again._

_She refused to let go when the emotions became too much and tears started sliding down her cheeks, or when the Turk's thin body trembled against her - _except that she can't tell if it her or him who is shaking_ -._

_They fell asleep before they knew it._

_-----_

Tifa's hands tighten on the sheets, wrinkling them slightly before laying down again next to Reno. She felt tempted to touch his face and wipe his tears away as he did for her, realised the stubborn Turk probably wouldn't appreciate it - Turks aren't supposed to show weakness – and dropped her hand in his hair instead.

"I will make it work, I swear it."

And if worse come to worse at least she would have found a friend.


End file.
